There are things worse than a Midwestern winter. How about slipping on ice, falling into a snow bank, getting your clothes all wet and losing your toes to frostbite as a result? Maybe that’s a bit extreme, but just in case Laura Jordan, who migrated to Iowa three years ago,  is here to teach you about the art of the snow-shuffle. 

By Laura Jordan

In case you couldn’t tell, I’m a transplant. Until I moved to Iowa, the most snow I’d ever seen was about 3 inches of slush on the sidewalks of Seattle. My first real winter was rough. I fell approximately 27 times. In public.

Once they stopped laughing, my roommates taught me the art of snow-shuffling (a.k.a. how to walk in the snow without landing on your face or ass). Here are some simple steps to keeping your jeans dry this winter:

1. Wear good shoes. You know, the kind with traction. This is one time of the year Converse just won’t cut it.

2. Go slow. It’s easier to control your footing when you aren’t going 30 mph.

3. Don’t pick your feet up if you don’t have to. The higher off the ground your foot is, the higher your chances of falling and looking like a fool. There’s a reason it’s called a shuffle.

4. Take tiny steps. If you take a long step and slip, you’ll be doing the snow-splits. Painful and wet. So just don’t.

5. Watch where you’re going. Walking into traffic or trees is never good.

And that’s how you snow-shuffle. Now you can’t blame us if you fall.

Photo: Steven Betts

Infographic By Kerri Sorrell 

]]> http://urbanplainsmag.com/2011/places/occupy-the-midwest-how-midwestern-cities-stack-up-against-national-competition/feed/ 2 http://urbanplainsmag.com/2011/places/midwestern-survival-guide-easy-car-snow-removal/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=midwestern-survival-guide-easy-car-snow-removal http://urbanplainsmag.com/2011/places/midwestern-survival-guide-easy-car-snow-removal/#comments Thu, 01 Dec 2011 17:00:52 +0000 Joe Stych http://urbanplainsmag.com/2011/?p=2304 Let’s face it. Midwestern winters can suck. The main reason for their suckiness? An overabundance of those crystallized water droplets that we like to call snow. Not to worry though. We’ve got you covered. Read on for our snow removal tips. 

By Laura Johnson 

Plan ahead. Hustle outside about 5 to 10 minutes before you’re ready to leave and start your car. A warm car melts ice-packed windows, making it that much easier for you to do the scraper dance across the windshield. And try to remember where you parked; a large lot or crowded street could leave you trudging through feet of freezing flakes. Worst case scenario? Press the panic button.

Cover your mitts. Opting for the bare skin approach will leave your hands too numb to grip a steering wheel. Grab some heavy, water-proof mittens before stepping out the door, and your hands will forever be indebted to you.

Whip out your weapon of choice. Time to dig out your trusty window scraper/snow brush. If you’re buying new, splurge for the scraper surrounded by a down-filled mitten to keep your hand toasty (see Tip 2). Bonus tip: It’s a good idea to keep at least one snow removal tool inside your apartment in case your car doors are frozen shut by an impenetrable sheet of ice.

Unstick your windshield wipers before you use them. Resist the temptation to use your wipers to lift five pounds of snow from the windshield—they could snap. Instead, clear the snow off manually the best you can, and then carefully try to lift each wiper blade with your hand. Still stuck? Either wait for the defroster to kick in or use a de-icing solution.

Take it all off. The windows aren’t the only areas that need attention; clear the hood and roof of your motor vehicle too. Highway speeds plus a mountain of snow on your roof could lead to a blinding blizzard for the folks behind you. In some states it’s illegal to have snow piles on a moving car.

Invest in a shovel. This is especially important if you park on the street.When the city’s snow plows come barreling down the street, they often leave a nice mound of snow surrounding your car. Delightful, right?

Flag your attractive neighbor down for some snow removal help. Ok this isn’t an essential step, but why not? He’s hot.

Photo: e-dogg

By: Katrina Widener

Minne-snow-tan
Influenced by Scandinavian and Canadian dialects, those folks have a very distinct way of communicating. Known for their elongated vowels, especially the “O” in “boat”and the “A” in “bag,” the Minnesota accent is one of the more common of the Midwest languages. Other common traits? Unique vocabulary such as “uff-da” and “hotdish.”

Hobby Farmers
Unlike their southern brethren, this accent stems from the rare type of redneck found toward the North. You’ll find this language in cities with a population of 20,000 or so, full of brand new pickup trucks and, in the case of Iowa, tons of corn. They are the wannabe cowboys, seen in wranglers and cheap Kmart western shirts. Just follow the sound of the “Wayyal, I might as well worsh the winders before the barberque.”

The Faux-Rapper
This special type of Midwestern dreams of growing up on the south side of the Bronx, but is probably from a northern suburb of Chicago. Using words such as “yo” and “shizzle,” they are the epitome of the untrue stereotypes associated with real gangsters. You’ll be able to distinguish them with their cheap bling, baggy pants and high-tops.

Missourian
You may have heard Missouri referred to as the dirty south. Well, you’ll be surprised to learn they’re actually from the good ol’ Midwest. Usually noted for having accents that are a mixture of a Southern accent and a Northern one, this unique way of talking actually originates from the days of the Civil War, when Missouri was a state split between the two sides of the US.

Hipster
Although hipsters don’t have an accent, they definitely have their own language. Full of ironic cynicism, this breed of Midwesterners pride themselves on speaking as non-mainstream as possible. Littered with obscure words no one else has heard of, they talk like they do everything else – better than you.

Chicagoan
One way to recognize someone hailing from the Windy City? They speak in tones as flat as possible. They are sure to emphasize every word differently – you’ll never catch them pronouncing cot, cat and caught the same. They mix and match their sounds to create an accent all their own. For example, going to see the Bears play would only be spoken “goyna see da Bearsss play” by those from Chi-town.

Young Professional
The Midwest is full of young entrepreneurs and businessmen and women. But did you know they have their own language? Full stock options and projected returns, they know what they’re doing and don’t care whether or not you can keep up. You won’t catch them committing a gaffe, and not only will they know what that means, but the proper way to pronounce it, too.

Photo: Speech Bubbles, By jordesign

Luckily, Erika Owen of Have a Zen Day has listed some of the best spots to visit on a dime, along with financial plans to get you there. Check out her post below. Pictured above is one of her suggestions, the Grotto of Redemption in West Bend, Iowa.

Take a Day Trip—Have a Zen Day
By Erika Owen
Photo:  L. Bernhardt

 

1976

Jimmy Carter, although he was not the clear winner, was able to use his perceived “win” to garner enough support to win the election to the Presidency. Ever since that moment, both parties have considered the Iowa Caucus as the obvious first step towards candidacy.

 

1980

George Bush edged out Ronald Reagan, but ultimately did not receive the nomination after Reagan made a dramatic comeback in New Hampshire. This event once again showcased the importance of the Iowa Caucus, not as a be-all-end-all but as a strong indicator not only of potential nomination but of the need to step up campaigning.

 

1988

Everyone was surprised by the strong showing by Republican candidate Pat Robertson, who came in second behind Bob Dole but ahead of eventual nominee George Bush. This even revealed the rise of the Christian Right within the GOP.

 

2000

Al Gore and George W. Bush emerged as the clear winners ahead of Bill Bradley and Steve Forbes, leading to their eventual nominations.

 

2004

Howard Dean, attempting to rally the troops, took it upon himself to list in successive order the states he would march through towards the White House and victory. Enveloped in political fervor, Dean ended this near tirade with a swing of his hand and a resounding “Yeaaaaooooargh!” forever immortalizing what we become known as the “Dean Scream.”

 

2008

Barack Obama delivered his victory speech after taking the caucus, putting to rest the perception that Hilary Clinton would be nominated. Not only was it a bit of an upset, but it was a powerful moment as Obama delivered an eloquent speech to the chant “We want change!”

sources:
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http://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=File:Ronald_Reagan_-_NARA_-_558523.tif&page=1
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dno1967b/54072933/
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With sweeping shots of Minnesota’s beautiful lakes, plentiful parks and, of course, the thriving metro areas, it’s tough to argue with their logic. Plus, the clip provides fun facts meant to fill you with Midwestern pride; did you know that Minneapolis was voted the best city for commuter biking, or that The Daily Beast voted it among America’s top regions for raw brainpower?

Watch the video below for a quick trip over the lovely landscapes of Minnesota, and if you want to learn more about Greater MSP, a coalition for the social and economic growth of Minneapolis and St. Paul, check out their website.

Photo via Peyton Chung

Honestly? It’s not a huge surprise. Minneapolis was one of the first cities to get serious about bike trails, they came down hard on smoking and generally the community fosters a strong sense of public health. Even with the nasty winters, Minnesotans have no problem staying in shape; with the beautiful lakes, plenty of parks and miles of bike trails, it’s tough to avoid the exercise bug.

When the snowstorms come, I guess it’s just time to break out the treadmill.

Did any other Midwestern cities make the list? You better head over to Forbes’ website to find out.

America’s Top 20 Healthiest Cities—Forbes
By Melanie Haiken
Photo:  Thirteen of Clubs

By Marina Shawd

Grandmas have the fastest fix for household cleaning emergencies. Their ability to fix things appears to be second nature. Bev Kruger and Laura Wootten reveal tricks easy enough for anyone—even young urban-dwellers. Growing up on a farm and in South Carolina respectively, these women know how to tackle any task, just by using what’s under the sink. Here are some of those timeless household remedies that you’ve never heard of (but still work!).

Cure Bee Stings
Laura: Mix Accent meat tenderizer with water and make paste to cover wound.
Bev: If you don’t have that, use tobacco. Or baking soda works, too.

Clean the Microwave
Bev: Mix lemon juice and water in a bowl. Microwave for five minutes to steam clean and leave a fresh scent.

Relieve Chigger Bites
Laura: Paint clean nail polish over the bite to shop the itch and kill the insect.

Preserve Food
Bev: Place a slice of bread in the brown sugar bag to soften clumps (this works for cookies, too).
Laura: Put green bananas in a brown bag to ripen.

Photo via symmetry_mind

By Annika Peick

To learn more, visit their website and check out the video below.

 Start thinking Peepoo
Image: Sustainable sanitation